Dating Ain’t Easy

You know what’s not easy? Dating! I don’t feel it was that easy when I was younger and it feels like it’s only gotten harder, especially with social media and dating apps it feels at times near impossible. We are accessible yet so distant.

Recently I thought I’d give this Bumble app a try because Tinder just isn’t my thing. The thing I liked about Bumble is that I don’t have to guess when we match who contacts who first, with Bumble the girl has to say hi first within 24 hours or you unmatch, and then after saying hi the guy has another 24 hours to say hi back to stay connected.

Here’s what I don’t think I will ever understand as long as I live, why in the world are you matching if you NEVER PLAN ON SAYING HELLO? Is it an ego thing to see how many matches you can get? Is it a game for you? Do you all of a sudden get scared behind your screen?

Secondly when you finally maybe have actually said hello and you’ve begun chatting for a few days, why aren’t you asking to actually meet face to face? Have we become so desensitized because of technology that we don’t even need to meet in person anymore? Or and this is a GIANT OR, are you even the person you say you are?

I go in with good intentions only to be disappointed every single time it seems. This time I’m confused more than ever. Started talking to a guy very recently…we had similar interests, similar values it seemed, even our sense of humor and laid back chill look at life seemed to be about the same. What really impressed me next was that he was eager to actually meet! Not only did he want to meet he went the extra mile, literally he doesn’t live in The FM area so he made an effort to take me out. In my head I was thinking, no way, what gives. Wait for it.

The date went better than I would have imagined, we just seemed to click and we could talk and joke and get along. He was smart, funny, sweet and tall to boot! It also didn’t hurt that he was pretty cute.

After we parted with anticipation to see each other again soon we spent the next few days corresponding back and forth. We had quickly become each other’s best friends on Snapchat, after he added me. He seemed genuinely interested in me and again I asked myself, what gives?

See I don’t like to be skeptical but recently my luck with guys had me leery about it all. He had traveled for work for a few days but had been very attentive through it all checking in, asking me how my day was, all the things I forgot about that happen when in or pursuing a relationship and I started to think maybe there is a possibility of something more here.

There it was I must have allowed myself to get too comfortable in the idea of actually liking someone and someone liking me back that it headed south and quickly. So quickly I don’t actually know what happened. One second he was boarding a plane for home saying text you when I land cutie, with a kissy winky face emoji, to a couple hours later to him being non-existent.

All of a sudden I felt like I was blocked in any way shape or form, my text wasn’t going through. Definitely not able to call and would you look at that he Un-friended me on Snapchat after being the one to add me. What just happened??

I’ll tell you this unless he wants to all of a sudden tell me I’ll never know. I’ll never understand why people want to do that? Why people just disappear? Why does anyone say anything that sounds genuine only to be lying? Why do people play with another’s heart, feelings or emotions?

I feel I’m a caring person who perhaps puts my heart a little too much out on my sleeve, but that’s me and I’m not going to change me. What you see is what you get and that’s not going to change. When I say that I mean it. I also say I believe in treating people the way I want to be treated and no matter how poorly I may have gotten treated I will continue to do me and care.

When I love, I love Big and when I care I care with all of me. So I choose to believe that maybe he felt he just wasn’t good enough so he disappeared, because even after being hurt I don’t want to think badly of someone.

So to the guy who did the disappearing act, have a good life and hopefully one day you’ll stop running and you’ll find that love that I believe we all deserve no matter what.

So like I said before…dating ain’t easy.

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Be

“Our Father, Who art in Heaven

Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come 

Thy will be done on Earth as it is in 

Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread and forgive 

Us our trespasses as we forgive those who 

trespass against us. Lead us not into 

Temptation but deliver us from evil. 

For thine is the kingdom. And the power 

And the glory, forever and ever. Amen.”

I don’t know about you but today many prayers were needed and even more should be said. We woke this morning to a tragic, massive shooting in Las Vegas. Tragedy had struck on our home land and worst of all it was by a fellow American. This has shaken us to the very core and it should. We are the “land of the free and the home of the brave”, but lately many of us have forgotten that. I refuse to point fingers at who is at fault because really we all are.

We preach about kindness, loving one another and peace but yet so many times do the opposite. We hide behind our screens and tear each other down when someone doesn’t agree with what we say. We are offended by anything and everything and some where in all our virtual ness and social media hype we lost touch with one another.

My plea: 

Don’t preach kindness…Be kind.

Don’t speak about love…show love, Be love.

Don’t be the problem…Be the solution.

Don’t hide behind your screen…look up, see who and what is around you and Be in the moment.

Be the good you want to see in this world. Be the change.

As we pray for Vegas…I extend that to say, pray for each other, pray for America, and pray for the world. 

💙God Bless America and God Bless You.❤️

The Good News

Growing up I remember dad always read the newspaper, watched the news or listened to the news and mom never did. She would rather ask us kids how our days were, how work had gone with dad and would talk on the phone with the neighbors about upcoming events, how they were and took in the good.

I couldn’t help but think at the time, as I would sometimes discuss the happenings of the world with my dad, why mom didn’t want to talk about it? One day I asked, her response was simple, she didn’t need to hear about all the bad that’s happening, she’d rather hear about the good. Thinking at the time that seems a little naive I think now, she had a point. 

Now a days you can’t even turn to your phone without being alerted on the next horrible or devastating news story. After awhile they start to take a toll on a person, on their heart…others appear to be numb to it, while others argue why they’re right and bully the next person as though they aren’t part of the problem, because face it in a way we are all a part of it whether we like it or not.

Believe it or not growing up I always found the news fascinating. The world of media amazed me and they were the first to let you know the big story. It’s part of why I got into radio to begin with. When something big happens, good or bad, I want to be one of the first to inform you. However, what I miss about journalism these days, is the integrity there once was.

When breaking a story, reporters had to have a lead and that lead had to be willing to share who they were and they weren’t just “some source” being quoted. Today “someone who knows someone, who knows someone said this is what happened” and that’s your story? Sounds more like to me we are all just reading or listening to a conversation that has been muddled because it’s like it was told through a game of telephone. What happened to giving the actual facts? 

So I have drawn the conclusion that I’ve become a little more like my mother, as in I don’t always watch the news or read what’s happening because the bad is only getting worse and the facts are becoming more scarce. Not that I can avoid it all, I still need to know what’s happening but for the most part…when I go reading or watching the news these days I search for the good one, because the good will always have the source and will always have the facts. 

But also, the good news are the stories we need a few more of because maybe just maybe if we saw or read about a little more good, another person would hear that and be inspired to do good too, and perhaps the chain will continue. 

I’m not saying we are going to change it all over night or ever change it all but shouldn’t we start somewhere? Even if it means starting out small? As the quote, not actually said by Ghandi but has been attributed to him, goes…”Be the change that you wish to see in the world”, but the only way to do that is to stand up and not just be good but do great. I might not have a whole plan worked out but you can be dang sure I’m going to do the best at being good I can each and every day and I hope you do as well! 

The Hopeless Romantic

Another exciting Friday night of watching, what has been dubbed, a chick flick. What can I say they’re my favorite to watch, even though they’re all very similar. Boy meets girl, girl is in love with another boy who she shouldn’t be with, then when she finally realizes that ones a jerk and falls for the other one she finds a way to believe the good guy is a jerk too. However, like any good chick flick she always ends up with the right guy! It’s how it’s supposed to work but does it work in real life?

Call me a hopeless romantic but I do believe in a sense yes life is a little like that. Unlike a movie though, life takes a little while to get to that happy ending. I feel I’ve been waiting on that happy ending for what feels like forever now. Thought I found it a couple times, once there was no doubt in my mind “this was it”, but some how life or I should say God had a different plan. 

I’ll be honest it’s frustrating sometimes, and if you’ve been in the situation you know you’ve caught yourself doubting at times if it’ll ever happen. I’ve even been told by friends and family members that maybe I’m too picky or maybe my standards are too high on what I want in a relationship, or maybe, just maybe, I know what I want and I haven’t met him yet or I have and we don’t know it yet. Listen to me don’t give up hope, actually never give up hope and never let anyone tell you, you should “settle”. 

Be patient. The plan hasn’t completely revealed itself yet, but I believe as should you and that’s what matters most. It was in the Christmas movie “Polar Express” that I heard the words “Seeing isn’t believing, believing is seeing” and I see now that time will help this hopeless romantic find her way, I just need to keep believing, I pray you do too.

Adulting

I’ve been hearing about this adulting deal for awhile and I feel tomorrow is when I will do the most adult thing I’ve done in quite awhile. I’m closing on a condo! This has been a looooong time coming.

Do you remember growing up and they would give you those questions in junior high or high school that would ask you, “Where do you see yourself in 10 years?” I always answered it the same way…by that time I’ll for surely be married, starting a family, living in my dream house, working…you know, grown up stuff. It’s been well past the ten years when I thought that stuff would happen and the ONLY thing I can check off that list in all honesty is that I’m working a job…but it’s a job I love! Life never quite works out the way you thought and honestly that’s okay because I love my life and wouldn’t trade it for anything.

However, tomorrow more of my adulting begins and I check off the BIG buying my own place. But what I am really liking is that it is mine. I have worked hard and saved and looked and found a place that I can 100% say will be mine, I mean once I pay off my mortgage, but that’s neither here nor there right now. The point is, I’m doing it and I couldn’t be more excited!

With that said I feel I have a few people I need to thank. First and foremost I need to thank Melissa Westby of Dakota Plains Realty who not only has been the best real estate agent a person could ask for she’s who I am beyond happy to call more than a friend, she’s like family. She has been with me to find the perfect condo from the get go,  being patient while I looked and always having my best interest at heart, plus knowing me well enough that when this place went on the market that this was perfect! Perfect it was, I think she fell in love with it for me as much as I did. 

But she was amazing in answering my questions, making sure I knew and understood all that went with buying a place and that I was comfortable with everything. She even led me to the other wonderful people I worked with to help with the process. 

Like Wade Vogl with Northwestern Bank who was a dream to work with for getting a home loan.
He was on top of it all, getting paper work done, calling me at anytime of the day to fill me in on every step and explaining everything in terms I understood and explaining it again if I didn’t quite get it yet. Not to mention he found me the absolute best rate and best loan I could possibly ask for. Plus bonus…I’m closing a whole week early, which I am told is pretty unheard of!!

Also during the whole process I had to make sure the place I was getting wasn’t hiding issues that I might not want to deal with, so Melissa of course made sure to recommend the best guy in the biz to do my condo inspection for me, Rick Westby, of River Cities Home Inspection. To give you an idea of how good this guy is, I had my dad come in to view the condo because he’s been in construction for well over 50 years by now and he knows his stuff and can be critical of giving praise but knows a good person when he sees one. He too had nothing but great things to say about Rick, saying that’s a guy I would trust to do my inspection any day, and I did. Rick gave me a thorough run down of what he found that I’d want to look at here and there but felt confident in me purchasing the place and that I’d be happy with it!

Those were my 3 that I needed and trusted to help me through this whole process and I thank God for them all, because with them I found a place that I get to make mine and call home. It’s been a dream for a while now and on Friday, May 5, 2017 at 3:30 pm it’ll become reality. So if ever you need help in your process I would recommend them all again and again and again. 

So this adulting thing, I’m doing it and I’m feeling pretty good about it but know I could not have done it without them so from the bottom of my heart I can not thank you all enough!
Melissa Westby – Dakota Plains Realty 701-212-3925 or melissawesbyrealtor@gmail.com

Wade Vogl – Northwestern Bank 218-359-0672 or wvogl@nwbanks.com

Rick Westby – 701-866-7572 or rick@rivercitieshomeinspection.com 

Make It A Happy One

What makes you happy? What makes you smile? Do that more often.

Have you ever heard a song or watched a TV show or perhaps a movie and you heard a line that just resonates with you. It speaks to you. That happened to me yesterday and believe it or not it was during the animated movie “Rock Dog”. I took a couple of my good friend’s daughters to the movie and the line that has been in my head since I heard it was so simple but true…”This is your life, make it a happy one.”

Let me say that again…

“This is your life make it a happy one.”

I ask you again, what makes you happy? We are surrounded by negativity, hate, separation, deception, sadness and more it seems every where we look. It’s easy to forget our happiness, it’s easy to be brought down.

I’ve been accused of being a little too optimistic at times, but that’s me. I see the good in people, I believe in the best and I trust things will turn out alright. That is just who I am, so I go looking for the good, because finding the good helps to make me happy. There are many things that help to make me happy and I intend to start doing them a little more, because it is my life and why shouldn’t it be happy.

Do you like to sing? Sing louder.

Do you like to read? Make time to read more.

Do you like to exercise? Then keep on doing it and make the time to make it happen, maybe switch up your routine and try something new!

Do you love your friends? Then show them, make time for them. 

Does your faith make you happy? Then share the word.

Do you love your family? Be with them more, tell them you love them.

Whatever good thing makes you happy, do more of it.

“This is your life, make it a happy one”, because why not? 

Do what makes you happy because it is your life, but don’t hate on others who are doing what makes them happy. We are all different, we all have different interests and we are each unique in our own way. Embrace that and enjoy what makes you happy, because you know what, we ALL deserve to be happy, yes including you. 

Here’s To New Adventures

I’ll never forget the day I graduated high school and reading the infamous Dr. Suess book “Oh The Places You Will Go”. It was a gift I had received back then and have often gone back to read during different times in my life when new adventures had presented themselves. Today I was reminded of the feelings that come with the start of a new adventure.

Imagine my surprise when I heard from one of my favorites at my favorite gym Anytime Fitness saying “We need to meet before Wednesday because I have news”. It just so happened I had just changed into my workout clothes right before she sent it so I said I was already on my way I’ll see you soon. Naturally, when you get a text like that all sort of things go through your mind. Keep in mind, however, for this particular situation, it could be a number of things for this person had become someone very special, like the little sister I never had and we shared a lot so it literally. could. be. anything. A sneaking suspicion though had me believe, she was off on a new adventure. Little did I know how right I was.

Let me take it even a step further to how I know little Miss Meghan of who I write about. She’s a spitfire of a woman who I met when she was a cheerleader for NDSU and was coached by another dear friend of mine. From the moment I met her I knew she had to be cool, I mean one, her name was Meghan and two, she had dark hair like me, so that had to be saying something, but it was her similar attitude and free spirit to mine that made our friendship instantaneous. From there I got to know her in other areas of our lives including with the latest when she came to work at Anytime Fitness and even more of a friendship blossomed.

Today Meghan let me know that she had a beyond exciting opportunity presented to her over the weekend and everything escalated quickly and she’s leaving THIS Wednesday already. Then I saw the emotions I remembered having the first time I ever left this area…excitement, nervousness and sadness all wrapped into one. It’s a GIANT step to move away from a place you know as home. It’s an even scarier step when it’s hundreds or even thousands of miles away from the ones you love dearly, your friends, your family, your everything.

But let me tell you this, the adventure you begin when you do step out on your own for the first time, is worth every obstacle that might come your way. Everything we do is for a reason, each path we take has it’s purpose. Had I not moved to Iowa at one point during my life, I wouldn’t be where I am right now, and frankly I love my life and where I am at right now, and I would not have made nearly half the friendships that I hold so dearly to this day, Meghan included.

Trust that the move you make is the right one for you even if it seems scary, because at the end of the day, you always have your loved ones when you need them and you can ALWAYS go back home. But go enjoy the adventure that awaits you while you can, because when  the best opportunity to move to Los Angeles, Hawaii, Reno, Nashville or wherever life may take you, presents itself, you take it without thinking twice and don’t look back, move forward.

This new adventure awaits you and may God bless you every step of the way. But know that “True friends are never apart. Maybe in distance but never in heart.”