The Real Black Friday

Do you remember when Black Friday was only one day? Remember the excitement of finding out the deals a day or two before, by getting all the fliers in the newspaper? Maybe those are my memories and it dates me a little but that’s what I remember from when I was growing up.

What I also remember was one particular Black Friday where it wasn’t about the deals it was about a seven year old little girl who really just wanted a Tweety bag.

It was usually my aunt who would bring the paper on Thanksgiving Day to my parents and each of us kids would sift through every little piece of paper to make sure we didn’t miss a thing. Knowing full well I wasn’t actually ever going shopping for a thing it was always fun to dream and make a Christmas wish list.

However, one year was a little different, I had spotted something that I truly wanted but it was only on Black Friday that it was available and not only was it only on that day, you had to be one of the first 250 people in line to get it.

The item was a Tweety Bird reusable bag with some small treats and samples in it, but it was the bag that I wanted because at the time I was all about Tweety and thought Tweety was the cutest and sweetest character on Loony Tunes. Anything Tweety related I was pretty much obsessed with at the time and this was no exception. I remember telling mom and dad about it but even at seven I knew there wasn’t a chance we were going to drive to Moorhead and stand in the cold in line at Target around 5am for that.

Little did I know there was a surprise to come. I had gone to bed slightly disappointed and sad that I wouldn’t be getting said bag, but knew there was nothing I could do about it. Fast forward to the next morning when I was being woken by my dad and it was still pitch black out. Remember him telling me get up and dressed we were going to Moorhead. Probably never been dressed faster in my life at a little before four in the morning. Dad tricked me, we were going to get my bag!

Mom helped to bundle me and my brother up and threw an extra blanket in the vehicle just in case we fell asleep and we were off! I was too excited to sleep but pretty sure my older brother, who was not interested in the bag, fell back asleep immediately. We made it to Moorhead that morning and I got my bag and so did my dad and brother and they gave me theirs too!! It was the best Black Friday EVER! We may not have found a deal or even bought much that day, but it’s a day I’ll never forget.

That Black Friday wasn’t about the deals, it wasn’t about opening the doors on Thanksgiving, it was contained to a day and it was a memory…a great one at that. As an adult I appreciate even more what my parents did for me so little Megan could have a Tweety bag.

I remember Black Friday when it really was only Black Friday, but in the greed of needing to sell more we have forgotten what the start of the holiday season should be about…memories with our loved ones. Because you never know when that is all you have left, so this holiday season hug your loved ones a little longer, talk with them more, share a good cup of coffee, a piece of pie or whatever it might be, but remember to cherish the memories.

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It’s Okay

Tonight I was out and a friend said I’ve been single two weeks…I don’t know how to do this. My reply..I’ve been officially single for over two years and not completely by choice it’s just what it is.

Two nights ago I was feeling rather sorry for myself after being once again ghosted. I don’t understand this modern dating and quite honestly…I’m not sure I’ll ever fully grasp it but that’s where I currently am. But I turned to God and I said a prayer for me to be stronger and to have faith, he’s got a plan. No lie, I opened up Instagram and the first thing I read was “They didn’t leave your life, I moved them”…

Can I write that again…”They didn’t leave you’re life, I moved them”.

That message could not have come at a more perfect time for me as I was questioning, what is wrong with me, what am I doing wrong?! I don’t get it!! God has a plan and as humans we get frustrated many times over as we don’t know what that plan is and at many times it doesn’t make sense yet.

My faith was something I needed to gain more of and I need to get stronger with. I am working on it and with it I believe more and more that the right plan is coming, but I don’t get to choose which outcome happens or when but it will all come together in the end.

If you have moments of doubt and think you’re alone on this journey, know that you are not. Especially know that there are others right there with you. I’m praying for you and I can’t wait to see how it all works out!

One Trip Around the Sun

Took another trip around the sun. By that I mean I had another birthday and I’m another year older. However, maybe I’ll look at it as though I have gathered another year of wisdom, but I do have so very much more to learn.

But what did another year teach me? What happened? I was born May 27, 1981…for those doing the math, I’m 37. Age has never been something that bothered me, it was something that actually excites me. Now rewind with me to right before I turned 35…at the beginning of the month I had visions of a fun birthday party happening, probably in lakes country and all my friends would be there, it was 35, surely that’s a milestone celebration birthday, right?

The couple weeks leading up, there seemed to be a lot of things happening that were more negative and I really hadn’t planned much and it’s for the best I didn’t. Grandma passed three days before I was to turn 35, she had lived to be 91, what an amazing life, but no matter the age it’s always hard to lose a loved one. Had this sinking feeling, somehow, the funeral would more than likely land on my birthday, which my father asked if I’d be okay with and of course I was, it was a celebration of her life that takes all precedent over anything!

It was a day of prayers, stories, laughter and many tears.

Later that day my best of friends showed up to show their support and most of all their love. For that I’ll never be able to tell them what that meant or say thank you enough. They helped to make the best of such a day.

There are those that will be able to relate, after something like that, days like that are never ever really the same, at least not right away. There’s a different memory, one that can still bring a tear to your eye. That was last year, my birthday came and quite honestly I just wanted it to pass. God Bless my friends again making sure I celebrated even if my heart wasn’t completely in it.

Moving on to this year, I didn’t know what I wanted. The week started out like any other week, but I knew the day was coming and I really did not know how to feel, what to feel yet. A few had asked about the day, and one good friend I had even confined in, to explain why I wasn’t really even feeling it and they got it, they had gone through something similar before.

So the week drug on and I knew the long Memorial Day weekend was coming and I still really hadn’t planned a thing. Then came Thursday and I had my usual happy hour at Twist for work. Two of my best guy friends showed up and they started the kickoff of a birthday weekend, probably not realizing they were helping to turn things around.

That was followed by Friday with the companies new summer grill out and my co-workers surprised me with a cake that not only made me laugh so hard it moved me even a little more towards feeling excited for my birthday again. The cake which was a little, or a lot inappropriate, was the only thing I would expect to get from the two who picked it out and had the saying wrote on it!

The weekend continued to just keep getting better and better. My little brother showed up and I got to spend some good quality time with him having dinner, taking a walk downtown for ice cream and good brother sister bonding time.

Then follow that up with Saturday spending more time with friends in the sun with a birthday cookie cake, happy birthday being sung and feeling even more love.

The day of my birthday I was with one of my best friends who made sure there was coffee,, lilacs, food, drinks and dancing! Along with my other best girlfriend checking in to make sure I was okay and sending her best, knowing only two short years before what had been.

The day of my birthday I felt so much love, from family, friends, listeners and even strangers…my heart was bursting with gratitude and so much thanks it was humbling.

Monday continued to be eventful and was like an extension of my birthday as I spent more time with friends on the lake and just soaked up not just the rays but the moment. Move to today where I got to see yet two more friends to do dinner and pedicures and really wrap up what feels like many days of a birthday celebration, I reflect back and think how very blessed and fortunate I am.

This year was different and reminded me how special birthdays can be and how very loved I am. From the very bottom of my heart I thank each and everyone of you who took a moment to wish me a happy birthday, to show me you cared and to make this girl feel incredibly special. It may not seem like much to say or write happy birthday or more than few seconds or minutes to send that wish, but the truth is to anyone it means everything.

I got wishes of hoping it’s my best year yet, but really looking at it, every year is my best because God blessed me with another one. So here’s to another birthday, to another year around the sun and I hope yours is just as special ❤️ ☀️

The National Anthem

I can not describe to you what it’s like to be asked to sing the National Anthem for any event, at least for me anyway, but I’ll try. It’s an honor, a genuine privilege and I am humbled to do so, but to sing our nations anthem, it’s also mixed with the feeling of being one of the most terrifying things I feel I ever do.

Think to all of the major sporting events where a professional singer has done the anthem and they have messed up, you have one, maybe a few in mind already. To me I think, I get it and my heart feels for them. If you haven’t got in front of a large crowd or even a small crowd to sing it before you don’t know how scary singing it can be.

It’s the song everyone knows. It’s the one song when sung at events is heard by everyone, every single note, word and especially any mistake or mistakes. No one wants to mess up the National Anthem, it’s our countries anthem so think of the pressure of making sure you don’t do one thing wrong.

Every time right before I get ready to sing I pray to God and remember that I’m doing this one for all of the men and women who have fought and who fight so diligently to give us the freedoms we have, with one being able to sing such a song. I sing it for them…I sing it for my friends and family who have fought. I sing it for those soldiers to come and those who protect our freedoms now.

Like I said it is an honor and a privilege to sing the song and I am humbled when I get to sing it. A special thank you to the Fargo Force who invite me back year after year and sometimes a few times a year. It’s not much but any little contribution I can give I will from the very bottom of my heart ❤️ https://girlintheredsparklyboots.files.wordpress.com/2018/04/img_6379.mov

Remember the Memories

Can you do something for me? Right at this moment, think about your earliest memory. Where were you? How old were you? What were you doing?

Those are some big questions, but they’re important and I will explain more as I go, I promise!

For me, my first memory dates back to what would have been the start of 1983, I was close to two years old. My family had taken a road trip to California to visit family on my moms side. I actually don’t remember much of anything of the trip, I was way too young. But it’s amazing what the brain can remember.

A few years later, at the age of about ten I was having the same nightmare for about the umpteenth time. Honestly, I couldn’t tell how many times I had woken from this exact same nightmare screaming for my parents but it was a lot. Then Mom asked “Megan what is your dream about?” And I explained to her how we were as a family on what was like a water trolley and Frankenstein, or to be technical – Frankenstein’s monster was on there with us and he walks right up to me and PICKS ME UP and I cry and scream and am down right terrified in my dream. I didn’t expect what happened next to happen…

Mom is looking at me, when I finish telling her my dream, completely dumbfounded, almost in disbelief. That’s when she tells me, that’s not a dream, that is a memory, that actually happened.

Memories have a way of finding us when we least expect it at times and sometimes they are a surprise. But others we treasure them so close to our heart we pray we never forget the moment,

That’s the memory I want from this weekend. Rewind just a tish to Easter. I was back home for Easter and spending time with mom and dad and a couple other relatives when Mom goes to my dad, ” Oh ask Megan”! Which words like that can be either exciting or cringe worthy. This time they were good. Dad had bought tickets to the Ducks Unlimited banquet for the Mahnomen chapter and asked me to go with him since Mom was gone for work that weekend.

There was no hesitation in saying yes, because when the good Lord presents precious one on one time with either of your parents, you take it.

There had been a slight hesitation whether we would go, but come that Saturday, dad seemed pretty excited and I was too!

We got to the Shooting Star Casino in Mahnomen for the event and got checked in. We ran into some people and friends that we had not seen for awhile, made friends with the couple at our table and looked to see what was up for the silent and live auction.

It didn’t take me much time to notice that one of the items up for the live auction was a framed and matted picture of Stefon Diggs crossing into the end zone for the winning touchdown against the New Orleans Saints during the playoffs. The touchdown will forever be known as the ” Minneapolis Miracle”. It’s a moment that any true Vikings fan will never forget. You’ll remember right where you were and who you were with at that moment. It was that special of a TD. It’ll go down in history as one of the best playoff finishes.

But I digress. So here was a picture of that moment and it was the only thing I wanted and I was determined to get it some how, some way. Fast forward to the part of the night with the Live Auction and where this particular picture was being auctioned off.

I remember right before the bidding began my dad had turned to me and said, “do you know where your number is at for this item”? I did. I had a set amount I was willing to spend. The bidding began and I began a bidding war with another girl. We went back and forth until we reached the amount I was willing to spend. I raised it one more time, going over my limit, but she was ready to go over that and that was it, my hopes of winning the print had been dashed. I looked around the room to see if anyone else was interested in bidding and I stopped listening. She had won it that’s all I knew.

Then something completely unexpected to me happened. The auctioneer was saying going once, going twice, sold…and then pointed in the direction of my table. At this point I was confused I had not bid again. The lady next to me goes, “oh you really didn’t see” as the picture is being walked to our table, “your father bid on it”. Yes, once again my father showed me how incredibly much he cares, he had WON me that print. I was about in tears and in disbelief.

After the weekend as I was driving home and thinking about what a weekend it had been I was thinking about memories. This particular weekend was definitely one that would go down in the books and made me ponder on how important memories are.

Memories versus things; memories should win every time. We so often these days forget to live in the moment and be with those surrounding us that we miss out on the moment, we miss out on the memory.

Think back to when you were younger. What do you remember? More often than not, you’re going to remember that moment that was special. That moment where your felt alive. A moment where someone made you feel loved. Those are the precious things we hold on to with not just remembrance but with our hearts.

Are you making memories? Not just with yourself but with your loved ones? Those are the things we should be making more of, rather than of complaints, disgust and hate.

We aren’t promised tomorrow, so while you can, make more memories with those that mean something in your life, with those you love. I can almost guarantee that it’s those times they’ll hold on to and that they’ll share in the end because it meant something to them and it was a time where they felt special and felt loved.

That moment with my dad was one of those moments. We’ve had quite a few memories/moments through my life and this was another one that I can always hold on to and I always will.

Cherish those you love – your family and friends, and make memories while you can. Promise you, you won’t regret it.

Crushing

Remember your first crush? I’m not talking about elementary cute little I like you, you like me lets hold hands crush, I’m talking about feeling something in the pit of your stomach flip up into your chest, while your heart skips a beat and you have to catch your breath type of crush. The butterflies type of crush.

I’ll never forget my first real crush. It was eighth grade year and somehow I had ended up in the high school study hall and as luck would have it, eight of the cutest Seniors that walked those hallways at that time were in it with me. Now keep in mind I went to a school where I graduated with a class of 38. It wasn’t a big school by any means, it was obviously small enough that a fluke, like me in high school study hall, wasn’t completely out of the ordinary. But still at that time to an eighth grade girl, it was a dream come true!

Anyway, I digress. Walking in to study hall that first day of school I knew my schedule was different than some of my friends because of the classes I was taking, so I was disappointed to learn none of them were going to be in study hall with me. That disappointment lasted about a nanosecond when I discovered my crush was in there.

According to the dictionary crush is defined as, ” a brief but intense infatuation for someone, especially someone unattainable or inappropriate.” also said to be called puppy love. I was in eighth grade and he was a Senior star athlete, most definitely unattainable but a crush none the less.

Remember how your crush made you feel? There was sometimes short of breath if they were around. Lack of speech happened or just stammering. Turning red easily. Your heart beating so swiftly you’re almost positive that it skipped a beat. Then there was that grin, who can forget that grin…that goofy one you got just thinking about your crush, the one you had if someone mentioned their name and the same one you had when they walked into a room, the same one you might have right now as you picture them in your mind just reading this.

First crushes, awwww, how innocent they really were, how innocent it can still be! Believe it or not as an adult you can still have a crush and it can still be one of the coolest feelings in the world. For a brief moment you believe again, you feel a sense of hope and it’s an euphoric high, that almost makes you feel like a teenager because there’s someone who makes you feel giddy again.

Recently I had that crush moment and the thoughts of my first came rushing back and for a little bit everything felt right. When you have a crush sometimes it doesn’t turn into anything other than that, a crush that just wasn’t attainable. Then there are other times where you find that you aren’t the only one crushing. Those are the times that someone finally makes the move and realizes that maybe there’s something more here and together you will have to find out.

Crushes can turn to like, then like to smitten and smitten can turn to love. Yet, know this, it doesn’t always work like that…however, you’ll never know unless you take the chance, you take the risk. Those are scary words and I know the clear thought is to think what if it doesn’t work? Then I ask you this, what if it turns into the greatest adventure of your life? Isn’t that worth it, to know that instead of saying “what if” you’ll always be able to know at least you tried and that my friends is really all we can do. Be careful with your heart, but don’t protect it so hard that you miss out on what could have been.

Dating Ain’t Easy

You know what’s not easy? Dating! I don’t feel it was that easy when I was younger and it feels like it’s only gotten harder, especially with social media and dating apps it feels at times near impossible. We are accessible yet so distant.

Recently I thought I’d give this Bumble app a try because Tinder just isn’t my thing. The thing I liked about Bumble is that I don’t have to guess when we match who contacts who first, with Bumble the girl has to say hi first within 24 hours or you unmatch, and then after saying hi the guy has another 24 hours to say hi back to stay connected.

Here’s what I don’t think I will ever understand as long as I live, why in the world are you matching if you NEVER PLAN ON SAYING HELLO? Is it an ego thing to see how many matches you can get? Is it a game for you? Do you all of a sudden get scared behind your screen?

Secondly when you finally maybe have actually said hello and you’ve begun chatting for a few days, why aren’t you asking to actually meet face to face? Have we become so desensitized because of technology that we don’t even need to meet in person anymore? Or and this is a GIANT OR, are you even the person you say you are?

I go in with good intentions only to be disappointed every single time it seems. This time I’m confused more than ever. Started talking to a guy very recently…we had similar interests, similar values it seemed, even our sense of humor and laid back chill look at life seemed to be about the same. What really impressed me next was that he was eager to actually meet! Not only did he want to meet he went the extra mile, literally he doesn’t live in The FM area so he made an effort to take me out. In my head I was thinking, no way, what gives. Wait for it.

The date went better than I would have imagined, we just seemed to click and we could talk and joke and get along. He was smart, funny, sweet and tall to boot! It also didn’t hurt that he was pretty cute.

After we parted with anticipation to see each other again soon we spent the next few days corresponding back and forth. We had quickly become each other’s best friends on Snapchat, after he added me. He seemed genuinely interested in me and again I asked myself, what gives?

See I don’t like to be skeptical but recently my luck with guys had me leery about it all. He had traveled for work for a few days but had been very attentive through it all checking in, asking me how my day was, all the things I forgot about that happen when in or pursuing a relationship and I started to think maybe there is a possibility of something more here.

There it was I must have allowed myself to get too comfortable in the idea of actually liking someone and someone liking me back that it headed south and quickly. So quickly I don’t actually know what happened. One second he was boarding a plane for home saying text you when I land cutie, with a kissy winky face emoji, to a couple hours later to him being non-existent.

All of a sudden I felt like I was blocked in any way shape or form, my text wasn’t going through. Definitely not able to call and would you look at that he Un-friended me on Snapchat after being the one to add me. What just happened??

I’ll tell you this unless he wants to all of a sudden tell me I’ll never know. I’ll never understand why people want to do that? Why people just disappear? Why does anyone say anything that sounds genuine only to be lying? Why do people play with another’s heart, feelings or emotions?

I feel I’m a caring person who perhaps puts my heart a little too much out on my sleeve, but that’s me and I’m not going to change me. What you see is what you get and that’s not going to change. When I say that I mean it. I also say I believe in treating people the way I want to be treated and no matter how poorly I may have gotten treated I will continue to do me and care.

When I love, I love Big and when I care I care with all of me. So I choose to believe that maybe he felt he just wasn’t good enough so he disappeared, because even after being hurt I don’t want to think badly of someone.

So to the guy who did the disappearing act, have a good life and hopefully one day you’ll stop running and you’ll find that love that I believe we all deserve no matter what.

So like I said before…dating ain’t easy.