Last week, after a lot of convincing from a good friend I decided to join the online dating world of Tinder to see what all the hype was and if it was as entertaining as some have exclaimed. To my enjoyment and perhaps horror it’s more than I ever could have imagined.
But first for those who might not know much about Tinder, let me explain it all as best I can. Yes, I knew going in that it was going to be me either swiping left or right. Left means you aren’t interested in them so moving on and swiping Right means that I would be interested in maybe chatting with him and if they swipe right and you swipe right you have a match. Thankfully for starters like myself not wanting to swipe wrong they also have a red x for nope or a green heart for yeah why not.
The first time I swiped right and found I had a match I about died laughing. Right there on the screen it said Match Found and then you had three options you could either message the person you were just matched with, share with a friend that you had a match (I don’t think my friends need to know every time a guy likes me back) or my personal favorite “Keep Playing”. Are. You. Kidding. Me. Keep playing? As in are you implying to me, Tinder, that all I’m really doing is playing a game right now? Knew I was doing this dating thing wrong all along…see I don’t really care for games, what you see is what you get. Still the whole thing made me giggle like a little school girl. This is the greatest thing ever.
Oh it got better. Honestly I am not very good at this whole online dating thing myself but I really thought that putting up pictures of yourself and writing a little tiny bio could be done by pretty much anyone. I don’t know what it’s like looking at some of the female dating perspectives but if they are half as entertaining as some of the guy profiles, hopefully you then have a good sense of humor.
I’ve already found some of my favorites that I’m sorry boys, as funny as it was, there was no way I could swipe right…I may have however did a screen shot of your picture to at least share with my girlfriends and to confirm that, yes, I think this was a for real thing. Here is my top 10 Profiles I Swiped Left too:
10. No Shirt, No face, No like: Don’t get me wrong like most women I like a nice body and I’m happy that you can take care of yourself…but just showing your body shows me that’s all you care about so moving on.
9. Drunk: One profile was honestly the guy looking about as drunk as a person could get without consequences and the only thing written in his profile was “Drunk”…yes you are, I mean thanks for being honest and all but next!
8. All half naked ladies: When I swipe and all your profile picture shows is nothing but half naked ladies chances are I’m thinking you want one thing, and I’m not that girl so pretty sure you won’t want to talk to me. Left!
7. Back of Head: That back of your head is pretty impressive and all but I’d rather see your smile or eyes…sorry not to be picky but I’m going to be.
You can link to your Facebook on Tinder and it allows you to literally pick photos from there…it’s really easy and if you are new and just figuring it out, ask some one tech savvy to help you, I promise girls will start swiping right for you more.
5. Dead Animals: I get it we are in hunting and fishing country, you enjoy doing those things and I am all for it, but if every single picture is you holding a dead animal or fish I’m probably swiping left. Don’t care how good looking you are I truly believe at this time that is all you are going to do every weekend and that’s fine there is a girl out there for you who will even do those things with you and I hope you find her. I’m just not that girl, sorry, and I’m sure you’re thankful that I swiped left.
4. Green creature: To the man who must have been in either a theater costume or a Halloween costume…your make up work was amazing…but who are you, what are you hiding behind? Let me see the real you or swiping on!
3. O’ Captain, My Captain: Do you like good literature or are you just strategically holding that book on purpose? Holding a book and wearing nothing other than a Captain’s Hat on your bed is something I will only share with ALL of my girlfriends. I mean don’t get me wrong the “There She Blows” Whale in the corner and the caption “O’ Captian, My Captain” was creative as it could be and I’m glad I saw it, but I do believe we want different things…and LEFT.
2. Flowers in The Mouth: This picture showed up when I was showing my best girlfriend Tinder for the first time and she about lost it. Being in a field of flowers, laying on your stomach in a senior high school like pose with flowers in your mouth about made our day. There are some pictures, that as hilarious as they are, you should wait to share…that was definitely one of them…my friend swiped left for me.
1. That’s your Cat: I love animals and a guy who is an animal lover is A-okay in my book, until you go and do this. Having a Christmas Collage picture of you and your cat is a little much. It looked like a picture that would be seen in the Awkward Family Photo book. The cat having a matching Santa Hat with you was a definite nice touch but I might like dogs more….sorry but LEFT.
For all those bad profiles, that I’m not even sure are serious, there are some decent profiles that I did actually swipe right too and have since at least had some good conversation. One has even resulted into a date this weekend and I’m about as nervous as I could be. I haven’t been on a first date in a really long time, lets see if I remember how to even do this. But good or bad so far this whole experience really has been pretty Tindertastic!