Let me start with, if there is anything you take from this it’s to never stop learning, never stop discovering, never give up hope, never stop believing and never ever stop taking advice. As teenagers it’s natural for many of us to believe we have everything figured out and mom and dad, or any adult for that matter, don’t have a clue what they are talking about. If you’re a teen and happen to be reading this, I hate to break it to you, but that couldn’t be further from the truth.
For the most part growing up, I was a pretty well-mannered kid, who listened and did what I was told (sometimes after I was told a few times but I got to it) but there were the occasional moments when I got upset and said the typical, “you don’t know anything about this or what you’re talking about”, now that I’m older and I reflect on it, I was definitely wrong and I probably should have listened.
Truth is you never stop learning or you shouldn’t. Life happens and sometimes in the best ways possible and other times in the absolute, heart-wrenching, worst ways possible. It’s usually at the worst times that the advice will come even if it’s hard to hear or you aren’t ready to hear it. For me it was the advice right after my 35th birthday so lets start there.
May 27, 2016 was going down as one of the worst birthday’s to date. We buried my grandma (my dad’s mom) that day. Even though she was in heaven and had lived a good long life to the age of 91, it’s never easy to bury the ones you love, we still hurt here on Earth. But as a family we held each other close and did our best to share her memories and our stories, laughed and most of all cried.
Later in the evening, some of my cousins and my brother and one of my dear friends came along with me to Zorbaz on Ottertail to maybe salvage a little something fun for the day. It was there that I was surprised by two of my other best friends who wanted to be there on this particular day to try and make it special on a hard day. I love that my friends would do that for me and it made everything definitely more special but I couldn’t help but notice that there was still someone missing. They would never come, no matter how much I wished it to be. Them not showing solidified what I had been scared of for a little while, everything that had happened in the last few months proved to be too much for our love. It was the very next evening after I got home and I watched him leave one more time, not willing to be there when I needed him most that I knew even though I loved him he wasn’t the man I had once loved and I had done everything I could to make it work but it was over and he didn’t even try to fight for us.
Although my heart had been broken before this time it was different and I felt it shatter and I kept thinking how will I ever put this one back together? The following weekend after a long week of no emotion in a home that had once been full of it, I went to see a friend at her cabin to escape the hurt or at least try. During my time there we had some great talks, shared some laughs and I shed many tears. It was also at that time that she bestowed upon me, ‘The Advice’.
She proceeded to tell me it was something she had been told years before when she really needed it and she felt it was exactly what I needed to hear at this time. Her words of wisdom to me were that it was time to do for me and get in a good place with myself. She said take some time to be with your friends and family and do something for yourself you’ve always wanted to do and for once don’t worry about another. It’s not always easy to be by yourself but remember in order to get what you are looking for you must get right with you first. At that time I heard what she said and didn’t disagree but I was still wounded to really take it to heart.
It turned out to be some of the best advice I may have gotten. It took some time but I remember one day I woke up and realized there were so many things that I wanted to do, with the key word being I. I had always wanted an unpractical fast car, so I went for it. Deep down I had always pushed off buying a place by myself because frankly I was afraid to do it on my own, I learned to push through that fear and am working on finally finding something I want that I can call mine and feel accomplished knowing I did it. There was a lot of I things I did for the first time which to me felt a little selfish but one must know themselves before they can accept another.
Maybe I’m not quite ready to move on to the next thing but I do know I’m open to the idea and the possibility because I’m for the first time in a long time completely comfortable with me. Friendship and baby steps are teaching me a lot and it’s all because I didn’t turn away from the advice.