Just Done

When you get in to your 30’s and beyond, dating gets harder…it does, trust me on that one. That’s not saying there isn’t hope it just gets harder.

For example, I remember why I don’t like dating apps like Tinder. A few days ago after hearing a good story off of it I was convinced to try it again. It turned into a joke. Maybe because of who I am friends with and who I have dated in the past, I question everyone I see as a potential match because at the end of the day are they who they say are? I had an instance over the weekend that again confirmed to me that maybe this whole dating app things isn’t for me…here’s the story.

You flip through on dating apps trying to find a match and then when you do, you’re lucky if you even get a response of any sort even if you say hi first. Why match if you are never going to talk to a person, that is so bizarre to me! Anyway, I’m rambling, I’m good at that, I was looking through and swiped right for a guy who looked to be pretty good looking, was military and seemed decent. Talked a little only to find out he was deployed. But there were a couple red flags, I however, gave the guy the benefit of the doubt.

Then it got to be too much too fast, within less than 24 hours he said he missed me. Ummm, okay. My response was you barely know but hey maybe one day you will miss me for real. But no he was sure he missed me…and RED FLAG. 

After doing some easy research it was easy to find out the pictures were stolen off an Instagram of a guy, who yes is military and yes even had part of the same name, but one he liked guys and even had a boyfriend. Secondly the dating mystery used his last name as his first name, making it easy to trail…maybe he was trying to get caught. Either way I called him out on it and that was it.

I’ll never actually know who I talked to and I’ll probably never want to try a dating app again. So again, like I said before, dating as you get older gets harder and not just because of what happened in this situation but for so many more reasons I won’t even get into. But if you’re having a hard time, you aren’t alone. None of us are. But  like I keep telling myself, patience, they’ll come, it’s just a matter of time. 

There is a plan and one day it will present itself, I believe that. For some of us, the plan just takes a little more time. But for the time being, dating apps…I’m just done. 

Mama Zee

January 10, ten days into the new year or what I like call to my mom’s birthday. A day that I will forever be grateful for because without her I would definitely not be here nor would I be even close to half the person I am today.

Anyone who knows me or has heard me on the radio has heard me tell a story or two of Mama Zee and since it is her birthday it only seems right to share another, one that shows how kind and loving my mom truly is.

To set a precedent of what was expected in our household growing up my mom was as kind as kind could be but she definitely set her standards. Her children were to be well mannered, went to church, studied, worked hard, and never and I mean NEVER were to swear. That was the one thing she was very strict about. Which could be entertaining at times considering dad did use the ocassional swear word. Laughing back at it now there were a few words on the swear word list that were a little suspicious…

  1. Shut up
  2. Suck
  3. Dummy
  4. Hate

and a few others I can’t think of at the top of my head, but as we got older we realized those weren’t “true” swear words those were just words mom thought to be rude so we didn’t say them and to this day they are still words we try not to say around her as we respect she doesn’t like them and she’s right, they aren’t nice words.

But I digress, the story I am really thinking of was about nine years ago. I was doing mornings at the time at Y94 and it was around this time of the year and it all began on a Friday after work.

I had met up with some co-workers for end of the work week drink at our then spot to hang, Tailgators. While we were sitting there I noticed a scratchiness in my throat, which is never a good sign, especially in radio. All I could think was, was great either I’m getting a cold or I am at the start of losing my voice. Needless to say I went home early. Going to bed I woke up the next morning feeling one of the sickest I had ever felt in my life.

I couldn’t move for pain and I was definitely burning up. What the heck was going on with me. At the time I lived in apartments really close to a Hornbacher’s but I could barely get out of bed let alone go to the store to get meds. Oh and did I forget to mention there was a snow storm going on outside, my boyfriend at the time was gone for the weekend and my roommate was at work. So what did I do…I did what any respectable 26 year old would do that time…I called my mommy.

Lets be honest when sick, no matter what age, just talking to mom can make a person feel better. Barely able to lift my head I dialed my cell and called home to figure out what I was going to do. Without a moments hesitation mom said she was on her way and we were going to the ER. I tried to argue saying it was dangerous with the barely visible conditions but I was too weak. Mom made the normal hour long drive in about two. By that time I had mustered up enough energy to at least get some warm clothes on, beyond that forget it, it wasn’t happening, not even a little bit.

She helped me to the vehicle and we are off to the Emergency Room where I learned, despite having a flu shot that year, I had partial influenza. I think the nurses exact words were “I’m sorry but the shot didn’t work for you this time”. Oh goody, words you only hope to hear (I thought sarcastically). But quickly she became my best friend when she gave me the most magical of all shots into my IV. She told me this should hopefully help with the pain and I should feel a warmth come over me…within seconds of her giving it to me a warm sensation went through my body, from my head down to my toes, and the pain was gone. Oh what a glorious moment, one that I can’t even completely describe but trust me, it was amazing.

I was eventually able to go home after a few hours but still feeling weak, mom stayed. She unselfishly stayed for three more days until I was feeling to almost full strength. She made sure I stayed hydrated by pumping me full of fluids, she fed me the appropriate flu food and best of all she washed my sheets and made my bed (one of the best feelings in the world). Even when I said she could go she wouldn’t, she stayed and she’d do it again today if needed. She’s done it for all of her children and many of her loved ones and she’ll do it again and again if needed.

That story is only one small little example of her love, kindness and caring. Her love is unconditional and she has one of the kindest hearts I know. She’s one of my best friends, has always been my biggest fan and I can talk to her about anything. I’ve been told I get my gift of gab from her and that I’m very similar to her in many ways. It’s an honor to be compared to her and I hope that I’m only half the woman she is and always has been.

In honor of her birthday I had to share. If you’re fortunate to have someone love as unconditionally as my mother loves me and my brothers, don’t take it for granted. Tell them thank you whenever you get the chance, hug them as many times possible and never ever EVER miss an opportunity to tell them you love them.

Life is precious so appreciate the ones who are there with you every step of the way. Thanks mom for having my back, for loving me the way you do and for all you do! Happy Birthday mom, I love you!

Along the Way

T-minus 6 days until Eric Church plays his Holdin’ My Own Tour at the Ralph Englelstad Arena so I’ve labeled it “Eric Church Week” at work and the countdown is on. To say I’m excited might be an understatement for more than one reason but those are stories for another time. In true “Megan” concert prep form I’ve been listening to every Eric Church album to brush up on all of the songs again so I can sing along the best (and the loudest) I possibly can at the concert.

It’s always fun to go through all the ones we play on BOB 95 but it’s also fun to remind myself of the other great gems that were never released for air play. The one that has had me thinking all day long and has been played a couple extra times was “Those I’ve Loved”, off his 2009 Carolina album. If you haven’t heard it yet, I recommend listening to it at least once and I mean really take the moment to sit down and just listen. Don’t listen while being distracted, maybe even close your eyes and hear the words.

I was distracted the first time it started to play so I started it from the beginning again, sat back and listened to every bit of it. It gave me goosebumps, especially the very first part when he sings of losing his grandpa. Everyone remembers where they were or when they got the phone call that they lost a loved one. Then it moves onto first loves and how you grew apart and went separate ways. But it was completely about those we “loved along the way”. The song will relate to many if not all.

But it’s not just about the ones we “loved along the way” it’s about how they have helped to mold us into who we are today and it’s so very true. Family, friends, long lost lovers…they all have touched our lives one way or another. Some are a part of our story for as long as they live, a few for only short periods of times and others for as long as we live. Regardless they are part of who we are. Whether you know it or not they have helped you to grow, they have taught you a lesson, they may have even taught you to love. The past is part of who you are. I’m not saying you should repeat your past but I am saying don’t forget what got you to where you are today.

On the road of life, I’ve lost family members, I’ve had to see friends be laid to rest, have had broken friendships and have had my heartbroken and I know I’ve broken a heart or two as well. But in the wonderful lyrics of Eric Church, “And I hope they all know I never would’ve made it this far on my own…if not for those I’ve loved along the way” and to each and everyone of them, good or bad, happy ending or not so happy ending…thank you for helping me to be me.

Now go ahead take a moment and give it a listen, you know you want to.

Lasting First Impressions

Today I read the cutest story about an 18-year-old young man named Grant Kessler from Ohio. His youngest sister posted a picture of him on Twitter where he is at the hospital about to meet their new niece and he’s dressed up in a suit and tie. But it was the reason he was wearing the suit that melted my heart and will yours too…he told his family the reason he showed up to meet his niece for the first in a suit and tie is “because you only get one chance to make a first impression.”

Did you just get chills? Did you just tear up? Did you get emotional? It’s adorable and admirable. Why aren’t we all like that more? He knows and we all know his new born niece is not going to remember that exact moment but everyone around him will and everyone who was touched by this story and I can almost guarantee is thinking I want to do that same thing!

It was a simple gesture but it spoke volumes. It makes me want to put forth that little extra effort no matter where I am. We make first impressions all the time in our lives but don’t even think twice about it because some of them are just in passing. But even if it’s just in passing don’t you want to leave a lasting impression? I sure do, which is why not only do I want to make sure that I look presentable I want to act it as well. How we act can leave just as much of an impressions as how we present our outward appearance, if not more actually.

His caring act wants me to dress up when I meet a friend or relatives new born. It makes me want to be the first to smile when a stranger on the street is walking my way. When I see a person heading into the same building I want to reach the door first just so I can hold open the door for them. If I see someone at the grocery store with fewer items than me I want to let them go ahead of me in line.

First impressions, we make them everyday and most times they are never really remembered. Wouldn’t it be nice to be remembered even if they don’t know your name as the person who did a simple but meaningful gesture and they leave sharing that story with all they know never knowing if you’ll cross paths again but I guarantee if by chance you do, they’ll remember you and it will be in the best way possible.

I’m a simple person, who believes in treating others the way I want to be treated and I feel if we all tried just a little harder with our first impressions as did Grant, then maybe we could leave this world just a little bit better and a little more kind and would that be such a bad thing? So the next time you’re leaving the house, heading to work, running errands or just going to be around people take into consideration making not just any first impression but a lasting first impression, I know I’m going to try.

*Find the full story on Grant Kessler here.

Playing Fashion Show

Growing up I loved nothing more than rummaging through my moms closet and trying on clothes and traipsing around in her high heels and feeling glamorous, even though I probably looked ridiculous but I didn’t care!
One time I remember watching an episode of Oprah with my best friend from Elementary School and in the episode there was a fashion show. We made sure to tape the episode and watched it over and over and then would again put on my moms clothes and hold our own shows for my parents…thinking back, my poor dad, such a good sport, haha, he must have been bored out of his mind but he never let on that he was.

As an adult I often think I want to play fashion show even now, and every once and awhile, I do get the honor of doing so through many wonderful events around the area such as Attire to Inspire,

Me at the 2016 Attire to Inspire event

The “Wonder Woman” inspired Bra for Bras on Broadway 2015

Or in past Bras on Broadway and even for Fabulous, Fashion & Friends Dinner and Style Show. But I started forming an idea…
Yesterday I had the fun of going to MODE here in Fargo and trying on several outfits and posing for some fun pictures for social media and it took me back to my childhood and I kept thinking the only thing missing was some girlfriends to complete the fashion show! 
Today I had the thought of why don’t I have a fashion show ladies party. Almost like a slumber party but better, with drinks, food and fun! Everyone brings different clothing, accessories and shoes and we pair different things up to form a fun outfit, do each other’s hair and make-up and then hit up somewhere to parade off our new looks. The fun thing about being an adult is we can make it bigger and more fun, the world is our stage or at least the town that we are in and why can’t we get all done up for no other reason than we want to?!
It’s a thought in process but I think there’s something there and some fun to be had. What can I say my inner child seems to be coming out more and more these days. But why not we have one life to live so we might as well enjoy it any way we can or want while we are able!

Life Adventures…Here I Come

I’ve started this post over and over many times looking for the correct words on this one but then I looked at a list on my phone and realized that the list itself is exactly what I need to share first before I find the right words, so with one realllllly deep breath, here I go.

Bucket List: Life Adventures that I want to experience.

  • Visit Australia
  • Visit New Zealand
  • Visit Ireland
  • Visit Italy
  • Visit Spain
  • Visit all 50 States
  • Hold a Koala
  • See a Panda
  • Go to a Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade
  • Experience a concert at Red Rock
  • Experience a concert at the Grand Ole Opry (accomplished 10-22-16)
  • Have a six pack abs once in my life
  • Own a house
  • Make Wine
  • Learn to Play Guitar
  • Try out for a music TV competition
  • Own a lake home
  • Visit an area where there are open window ceilings to watch and sleep under the Aurora Borealis
  • Stargaze from the back of a truck bed with the back filled with pillows, cushions and blankets
  • Sturgis (accomplished August 2014)
  • Get the word BELIEVE tattoed on my foot
  • Act in a Fargo play
  • Sing the National Anthem at a Vikings and/or Twins game
  • Get married
  • Have a family
  • Start a wine group

Writing this and knowing that even one person could read this list made me nervous,  not going to lie my heart was pounding and is still pounding after typing out this very personal list, but I needed to do it, because I feel it makes me more accountable then I have ever been. It makes it more real, that these are things I truly do want to experience and hope one day I am able to check off. Some more than others as I wrote them down in no particular order.

But why am I sharing the list? That’s a good question. To prove to myself I have the courage to start making them happen. You see I’ve had this list for a few years on my phone and every now and again I look at it and think “I still want this to happen or maybe this will happen this year” and then it seems time passes and another year comes and I’m still looking at a list that hasn’t happened. For example; learn to play guitar has been something I’ve thought about for as long as I can remember now but why haven’t I gone after it and just done it? Fear. Fear I wouldn’t be very good or worse yet, wouldn’t be able to do it. What a silly thought.

Fear holds many of us back from so many things and if 2016 did teach me anything it’s to begin conquering my fears. Maybe I won’t be the best guitar player in the world but at least if I try I can say just that, I tried it no matter what. Failure happens to the best of us but if we don’t at least try we won’t ever know if we can and that’s the saddest part of it all.

Don’t let your fears hold you back from what you want to do and if you fail at something don’t think it’s over, just get back up and try it again. You think electricity was invented over night? It certainly wasn’t, which should be encouragement enough to want to try, try again. I realize that not everything on this list is as “simple” as going to try and learn to play guitar. Some of them come with time and patience but as well as opening myself up to different possibilities and not turning away from something that might scare me. I have a tendency of thinking about things too much and questioning them too much, but maybe, just maybe by sharing this I’ll begin to act and not over think it all.
With all of that said, I now encourage you to write down your Bucket List: Life Adventures that I want to experience and see what you come up. Then comes the hard part, share that list with someone, I know that seems a little silly but it’s scarier than I thought but in doing so I bet it will spark something inside of you that will give you the courage to go after what you want. In one year from now I plan on seeing what I checked off this list and I’m feeling more confident at that the moment that “play guitar” will have a check next to it. My hope for you is that you do the same. Good luck with those new years resolutions but even more so good luck with all of your life experiences, because the moments, the experiences and the memories are what you should remember as we go through this crazy thing we call life.

Back to Letters

The other day while cleaning up and organizing during my time off over the holidays I ran across some old letters and post cards and got to thinking I miss hand written notes. In a world of technology where we can reach people from basically the palm of our hands it seems the art of a hand written anything has gone away. I’m just as guilty but there was a time I loved doing it.

I’ll never forget in Elementary school when our teacher asked if we would be interested in being a part of a pen pal program. It was a program that put us in touch with other kids from different countries and we could correspond via letters because back then that was all we had. I remember when we got the name and address of our pen pal and rushing home to write a letter immediately. Lauren was her name, she was from Tasmania, Australia and she was my age.

We wrote for quite a few years, exchanging details about our lives, what it was like growing up in different countries and explaining our traditions and cultures. We even exchanged gifts as well as small currency to show each other what it looked like. There was something about the excitement of getting mail from a completely different part of the world and envisioning exactly where it came from and planning of the day you would one day go. Sadly I never got to meet my pen pal and even more sad have since lost touch and wish I could find her again to plan of the day as adults we might actually meet in person, could you imagine? It would be like your past staring you in the face but it’s years later.

I still have those letters and I cherish them as well as all the letters I received through the years from other pen pals. One from New Zealand, another who was a Marine and a nephew to close family friends who appreciated any mail while overseas fighting for our country.

Letters also always allowed me to stay in touch with friends who lived a bit of a distance growing up and to stay in touch in a way that didn’t cause our parents phone bills to be astronomical. It also allowed me to stay in contact with friends after graduation who went off to basic and to serve our country. Letters to us back then meant so much. It meant that someone was thinking of you and had taken the time to sit down and share with you details of their life or stories from the day, weeks maybe even the month.

Post cards were also a favorite of mine to receive in the mail especially from my grandparents who were world travelers and have visited places I can only dream and hope to visit one day. They shared their experiences on those miniature cards that had a picture of where they were at on one side and their written words on the other, they were fascinating and even more cool knowing it came sometimes half way around the world to end up with me.

Letters, post cards, written words…I miss them. They were a huge part of my growing up and I use to be pretty good at writing them myself and lets be honest these days isn’t it great to receive something other than a piece of junk mail or a bill in the mail? It rarely happens other than maybe for a rare special occasion like a birthday, a thank you or during the holidays when you receive a Christmas card, but how great do they make you feel when you get one?

Which is why I decided this year I’m getting back to writing…hand writing that is. I want to write a letter, or a hand written card for no reason but other than to say hello and that I’m thinking of you. Or if I am off traveling I want to pick up a post card and send it your way so you know what it’s like to have that experience of getting real mail. Does this sound like something you might like?

If this interests you even a little bit then let me know your address and you could be getting some unexpected real mail one day in the near future. How do I get this address you ask, well simple with technology you can either email it to me megan@bob95fm.com, Facebook private message me or if you have my number text it to me. I can’t say it will come immediately but I bet it will come when you least expect it and hopefully it will make you smile the way the letters I once received use to make me smile. It might seem a little old fashioned but I’m okay with that because this year I’m going to make it cool again to send letters because just like fashion sometimes it might be an oldie but it sure can be a goody!