Crushing

Remember your first crush? I’m not talking about elementary cute little I like you, you like me lets hold hands crush, I’m talking about feeling something in the pit of your stomach flip up into your chest, while your heart skips a beat and you have to catch your breath type of crush. The butterflies type of crush.

I’ll never forget my first real crush. It was eighth grade year and somehow I had ended up in the high school study hall and as luck would have it, eight of the cutest Seniors that walked those hallways at that time were in it with me. Now keep in mind I went to a school where I graduated with a class of 38. It wasn’t a big school by any means, it was obviously small enough that a fluke, like me in high school study hall, wasn’t completely out of the ordinary. But still at that time to an eighth grade girl, it was a dream come true!

Anyway, I digress. Walking in to study hall that first day of school I knew my schedule was different than some of my friends because of the classes I was taking, so I was disappointed to learn none of them were going to be in study hall with me. That disappointment lasted about a nanosecond when I discovered my crush was in there.

According to the dictionary crush is defined as, ” a brief but intense infatuation for someone, especially someone unattainable or inappropriate.” also said to be called puppy love. I was in eighth grade and he was a Senior star athlete, most definitely unattainable but a crush none the less.

Remember how your crush made you feel? There was sometimes short of breath if they were around. Lack of speech happened or just stammering. Turning red easily. Your heart beating so swiftly you’re almost positive that it skipped a beat. Then there was that grin, who can forget that grin…that goofy one you got just thinking about your crush, the one you had if someone mentioned their name and the same one you had when they walked into a room, the same one you might have right now as you picture them in your mind just reading this.

First crushes, awwww, how innocent they really were, how innocent it can still be! Believe it or not as an adult you can still have a crush and it can still be one of the coolest feelings in the world. For a brief moment you believe again, you feel a sense of hope and it’s an euphoric high, that almost makes you feel like a teenager because there’s someone who makes you feel giddy again.

Recently I had that crush moment and the thoughts of my first came rushing back and for a little bit everything felt right. When you have a crush sometimes it doesn’t turn into anything other than that, a crush that just wasn’t attainable. Then there are other times where you find that you aren’t the only one crushing. Those are the times that someone finally makes the move and realizes that maybe there’s something more here and together you will have to find out.

Crushes can turn to like, then like to smitten and smitten can turn to love. Yet, know this, it doesn’t always work like that…however, you’ll never know unless you take the chance, you take the risk. Those are scary words and I know the clear thought is to think what if it doesn’t work? Then I ask you this, what if it turns into the greatest adventure of your life? Isn’t that worth it, to know that instead of saying “what if” you’ll always be able to know at least you tried and that my friends is really all we can do. Be careful with your heart, but don’t protect it so hard that you miss out on what could have been.

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Dating Ain’t Easy

You know what’s not easy? Dating! I don’t feel it was that easy when I was younger and it feels like it’s only gotten harder, especially with social media and dating apps it feels at times near impossible. We are accessible yet so distant.

Recently I thought I’d give this Bumble app a try because Tinder just isn’t my thing. The thing I liked about Bumble is that I don’t have to guess when we match who contacts who first, with Bumble the girl has to say hi first within 24 hours or you unmatch, and then after saying hi the guy has another 24 hours to say hi back to stay connected.

Here’s what I don’t think I will ever understand as long as I live, why in the world are you matching if you NEVER PLAN ON SAYING HELLO? Is it an ego thing to see how many matches you can get? Is it a game for you? Do you all of a sudden get scared behind your screen?

Secondly when you finally maybe have actually said hello and you’ve begun chatting for a few days, why aren’t you asking to actually meet face to face? Have we become so desensitized because of technology that we don’t even need to meet in person anymore? Or and this is a GIANT OR, are you even the person you say you are?

I go in with good intentions only to be disappointed every single time it seems. This time I’m confused more than ever. Started talking to a guy very recently…we had similar interests, similar values it seemed, even our sense of humor and laid back chill look at life seemed to be about the same. What really impressed me next was that he was eager to actually meet! Not only did he want to meet he went the extra mile, literally he doesn’t live in The FM area so he made an effort to take me out. In my head I was thinking, no way, what gives. Wait for it.

The date went better than I would have imagined, we just seemed to click and we could talk and joke and get along. He was smart, funny, sweet and tall to boot! It also didn’t hurt that he was pretty cute.

After we parted with anticipation to see each other again soon we spent the next few days corresponding back and forth. We had quickly become each other’s best friends on Snapchat, after he added me. He seemed genuinely interested in me and again I asked myself, what gives?

See I don’t like to be skeptical but recently my luck with guys had me leery about it all. He had traveled for work for a few days but had been very attentive through it all checking in, asking me how my day was, all the things I forgot about that happen when in or pursuing a relationship and I started to think maybe there is a possibility of something more here.

There it was I must have allowed myself to get too comfortable in the idea of actually liking someone and someone liking me back that it headed south and quickly. So quickly I don’t actually know what happened. One second he was boarding a plane for home saying text you when I land cutie, with a kissy winky face emoji, to a couple hours later to him being non-existent.

All of a sudden I felt like I was blocked in any way shape or form, my text wasn’t going through. Definitely not able to call and would you look at that he Un-friended me on Snapchat after being the one to add me. What just happened??

I’ll tell you this unless he wants to all of a sudden tell me I’ll never know. I’ll never understand why people want to do that? Why people just disappear? Why does anyone say anything that sounds genuine only to be lying? Why do people play with another’s heart, feelings or emotions?

I feel I’m a caring person who perhaps puts my heart a little too much out on my sleeve, but that’s me and I’m not going to change me. What you see is what you get and that’s not going to change. When I say that I mean it. I also say I believe in treating people the way I want to be treated and no matter how poorly I may have gotten treated I will continue to do me and care.

When I love, I love Big and when I care I care with all of me. So I choose to believe that maybe he felt he just wasn’t good enough so he disappeared, because even after being hurt I don’t want to think badly of someone.

So to the guy who did the disappearing act, have a good life and hopefully one day you’ll stop running and you’ll find that love that I believe we all deserve no matter what.

So like I said before…dating ain’t easy.

Be

“Our Father, Who art in Heaven

Hallowed be thy name. Thy kingdom come 

Thy will be done on Earth as it is in 

Heaven.

Give us this day our daily bread and forgive 

Us our trespasses as we forgive those who 

trespass against us. Lead us not into 

Temptation but deliver us from evil. 

For thine is the kingdom. And the power 

And the glory, forever and ever. Amen.”

I don’t know about you but today many prayers were needed and even more should be said. We woke this morning to a tragic, massive shooting in Las Vegas. Tragedy had struck on our home land and worst of all it was by a fellow American. This has shaken us to the very core and it should. We are the “land of the free and the home of the brave”, but lately many of us have forgotten that. I refuse to point fingers at who is at fault because really we all are.

We preach about kindness, loving one another and peace but yet so many times do the opposite. We hide behind our screens and tear each other down when someone doesn’t agree with what we say. We are offended by anything and everything and some where in all our virtual ness and social media hype we lost touch with one another.

My plea: 

Don’t preach kindness…Be kind.

Don’t speak about love…show love, Be love.

Don’t be the problem…Be the solution.

Don’t hide behind your screen…look up, see who and what is around you and Be in the moment.

Be the good you want to see in this world. Be the change.

As we pray for Vegas…I extend that to say, pray for each other, pray for America, and pray for the world. 

💙God Bless America and God Bless You.❤️

The Good News

Growing up I remember dad always read the newspaper, watched the news or listened to the news and mom never did. She would rather ask us kids how our days were, how work had gone with dad and would talk on the phone with the neighbors about upcoming events, how they were and took in the good.

I couldn’t help but think at the time, as I would sometimes discuss the happenings of the world with my dad, why mom didn’t want to talk about it? One day I asked, her response was simple, she didn’t need to hear about all the bad that’s happening, she’d rather hear about the good. Thinking at the time that seems a little naive I think now, she had a point. 

Now a days you can’t even turn to your phone without being alerted on the next horrible or devastating news story. After awhile they start to take a toll on a person, on their heart…others appear to be numb to it, while others argue why they’re right and bully the next person as though they aren’t part of the problem, because face it in a way we are all a part of it whether we like it or not.

Believe it or not growing up I always found the news fascinating. The world of media amazed me and they were the first to let you know the big story. It’s part of why I got into radio to begin with. When something big happens, good or bad, I want to be one of the first to inform you. However, what I miss about journalism these days, is the integrity there once was.

When breaking a story, reporters had to have a lead and that lead had to be willing to share who they were and they weren’t just “some source” being quoted. Today “someone who knows someone, who knows someone said this is what happened” and that’s your story? Sounds more like to me we are all just reading or listening to a conversation that has been muddled because it’s like it was told through a game of telephone. What happened to giving the actual facts? 

So I have drawn the conclusion that I’ve become a little more like my mother, as in I don’t always watch the news or read what’s happening because the bad is only getting worse and the facts are becoming more scarce. Not that I can avoid it all, I still need to know what’s happening but for the most part…when I go reading or watching the news these days I search for the good one, because the good will always have the source and will always have the facts. 

But also, the good news are the stories we need a few more of because maybe just maybe if we saw or read about a little more good, another person would hear that and be inspired to do good too, and perhaps the chain will continue. 

I’m not saying we are going to change it all over night or ever change it all but shouldn’t we start somewhere? Even if it means starting out small? As the quote, not actually said by Ghandi but has been attributed to him, goes…”Be the change that you wish to see in the world”, but the only way to do that is to stand up and not just be good but do great. I might not have a whole plan worked out but you can be dang sure I’m going to do the best at being good I can each and every day and I hope you do as well! 

The Hopeless Romantic

Another exciting Friday night of watching, what has been dubbed, a chick flick. What can I say they’re my favorite to watch, even though they’re all very similar. Boy meets girl, girl is in love with another boy who she shouldn’t be with, then when she finally realizes that ones a jerk and falls for the other one she finds a way to believe the good guy is a jerk too. However, like any good chick flick she always ends up with the right guy! It’s how it’s supposed to work but does it work in real life?

Call me a hopeless romantic but I do believe in a sense yes life is a little like that. Unlike a movie though, life takes a little while to get to that happy ending. I feel I’ve been waiting on that happy ending for what feels like forever now. Thought I found it a couple times, once there was no doubt in my mind “this was it”, but some how life or I should say God had a different plan. 

I’ll be honest it’s frustrating sometimes, and if you’ve been in the situation you know you’ve caught yourself doubting at times if it’ll ever happen. I’ve even been told by friends and family members that maybe I’m too picky or maybe my standards are too high on what I want in a relationship, or maybe, just maybe, I know what I want and I haven’t met him yet or I have and we don’t know it yet. Listen to me don’t give up hope, actually never give up hope and never let anyone tell you, you should “settle”. 

Be patient. The plan hasn’t completely revealed itself yet, but I believe as should you and that’s what matters most. It was in the Christmas movie “Polar Express” that I heard the words “Seeing isn’t believing, believing is seeing” and I see now that time will help this hopeless romantic find her way, I just need to keep believing, I pray you do too.

Make It A Happy One

What makes you happy? What makes you smile? Do that more often.

Have you ever heard a song or watched a TV show or perhaps a movie and you heard a line that just resonates with you. It speaks to you. That happened to me yesterday and believe it or not it was during the animated movie “Rock Dog”. I took a couple of my good friend’s daughters to the movie and the line that has been in my head since I heard it was so simple but true…”This is your life, make it a happy one.”

Let me say that again…

“This is your life make it a happy one.”

I ask you again, what makes you happy? We are surrounded by negativity, hate, separation, deception, sadness and more it seems every where we look. It’s easy to forget our happiness, it’s easy to be brought down.

I’ve been accused of being a little too optimistic at times, but that’s me. I see the good in people, I believe in the best and I trust things will turn out alright. That is just who I am, so I go looking for the good, because finding the good helps to make me happy. There are many things that help to make me happy and I intend to start doing them a little more, because it is my life and why shouldn’t it be happy.

Do you like to sing? Sing louder.

Do you like to read? Make time to read more.

Do you like to exercise? Then keep on doing it and make the time to make it happen, maybe switch up your routine and try something new!

Do you love your friends? Then show them, make time for them. 

Does your faith make you happy? Then share the word.

Do you love your family? Be with them more, tell them you love them.

Whatever good thing makes you happy, do more of it.

“This is your life, make it a happy one”, because why not? 

Do what makes you happy because it is your life, but don’t hate on others who are doing what makes them happy. We are all different, we all have different interests and we are each unique in our own way. Embrace that and enjoy what makes you happy, because you know what, we ALL deserve to be happy, yes including you. 

Here’s To New Adventures

I’ll never forget the day I graduated high school and reading the infamous Dr. Suess book “Oh The Places You Will Go”. It was a gift I had received back then and have often gone back to read during different times in my life when new adventures had presented themselves. Today I was reminded of the feelings that come with the start of a new adventure.

Imagine my surprise when I heard from one of my favorites at my favorite gym Anytime Fitness saying “We need to meet before Wednesday because I have news”. It just so happened I had just changed into my workout clothes right before she sent it so I said I was already on my way I’ll see you soon. Naturally, when you get a text like that all sort of things go through your mind. Keep in mind, however, for this particular situation, it could be a number of things for this person had become someone very special, like the little sister I never had and we shared a lot so it literally. could. be. anything. A sneaking suspicion though had me believe, she was off on a new adventure. Little did I know how right I was.

Let me take it even a step further to how I know little Miss Meghan of who I write about. She’s a spitfire of a woman who I met when she was a cheerleader for NDSU and was coached by another dear friend of mine. From the moment I met her I knew she had to be cool, I mean one, her name was Meghan and two, she had dark hair like me, so that had to be saying something, but it was her similar attitude and free spirit to mine that made our friendship instantaneous. From there I got to know her in other areas of our lives including with the latest when she came to work at Anytime Fitness and even more of a friendship blossomed.

Today Meghan let me know that she had a beyond exciting opportunity presented to her over the weekend and everything escalated quickly and she’s leaving THIS Wednesday already. Then I saw the emotions I remembered having the first time I ever left this area…excitement, nervousness and sadness all wrapped into one. It’s a GIANT step to move away from a place you know as home. It’s an even scarier step when it’s hundreds or even thousands of miles away from the ones you love dearly, your friends, your family, your everything.

But let me tell you this, the adventure you begin when you do step out on your own for the first time, is worth every obstacle that might come your way. Everything we do is for a reason, each path we take has it’s purpose. Had I not moved to Iowa at one point during my life, I wouldn’t be where I am right now, and frankly I love my life and where I am at right now, and I would not have made nearly half the friendships that I hold so dearly to this day, Meghan included.

Trust that the move you make is the right one for you even if it seems scary, because at the end of the day, you always have your loved ones when you need them and you can ALWAYS go back home. But go enjoy the adventure that awaits you while you can, because when  the best opportunity to move to Los Angeles, Hawaii, Reno, Nashville or wherever life may take you, presents itself, you take it without thinking twice and don’t look back, move forward.

This new adventure awaits you and may God bless you every step of the way. But know that “True friends are never apart. Maybe in distance but never in heart.”